A Little Perspective From Tom Church

I was laying on my bed, drawing on a paper hat, and I thought,

  • What if, for every fictional character, there’s a real-life opposite?
  • What if plants were smarter than we were, and a million times as patient?
  • What the hell is cardioplast?
  • What if Criss Angel wasn’t a gay bastard?
  • What if the Greeks and the Romans were spawn of aliens with advanced strategic capabilities, but practically the same technology as humans? And both Alexander the Great and Julius Caeser were intergalactic brothers?
  • Why clip a cell phone to your belt when mens’ pants invariably have pockets?
  • Why do people always say they love reading Danielle Steele but they can never remember the plot to any of her books? It must be because they’re always so similar. Why are they always so similar?
  • Why do people eat granola bars when no one actually likes them that much?
  • Why are advertisements for YouTube videos always so absolutely unpersuasive?
  • Why do gift cards exist?
  • What would the mascot be for a white supremacist group be?

-Thom

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Comments on: "Slapshot Thoughts: A Triangle of Them" (1)

  1. …….. I like granola bars. Mostly the kind with chocolate in them, but still I think they’re good.

    Haha, you’re randomness is amusing.

    –Sunshine

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