A Little Perspective From Tom Church

Sunshine’s Party!

Hey, followers…

Last night, Erin and I went to a party! A fun party! It was really nice, and we really appreciate having been invited. Our friend Sunshine is moving away to California, and it was her birthday/going away party. It was bittersweet, sort of, also keeping in mind the fact that yesterday was the supposed beginning of the apocalypse.

At 6:00 PM, everyone cheered. Nothing horrible happened, no one died (although we anticipated it).

I did The Tom (a new-wave, universal dance that works for any song, quite literally), and people were okay with that. I guess I was a bit of a laughingstock, but that’s alright with me. Better to be laughed at than not lau- well, wait.

Before I think that through, I’ll address a certain aspect of the party first:

Erin G, a friend of Erin’s (I sort of met her at the party, I’ve seen her around but never truly met her or anything) started talking to Erin F. N. (who I’ll just call Blog-Erin) about Zack, our viewer.

Erin G: [Blog-Erin]! Zack talks about you all the time. He’ll be like, “Yeah, that picture on the wall, that’s Erin!” He’ll be like, “Yeah, Erin and I-” He’ll be like, “Erin likes that too!”

Blog-Erin: TOM! LISTEN TO THIS! OH MY GOD!

We continued to listen to Erin G. She talked about Zack’s strange verbal obsession with Erin, and we clung to each other.

To Zack:

Sorry, pal. That’s a little bit too much. Kick it down a notch, respectfully. Erin and I are a little bit offput.

P.S. No Pirates. Not trying to restrict Erin from having friends, and not trying to come off as a jerk, but… that’s weird.

Continuing with the party, there was this other particularly interesting bit, after we’d heard the scary news about Zack: These two kids (probably no older than twelve), a guy and a girl, were totally hardcore-dating. The girl would stick with the guy, whisper to him and stuff, and the guy would stand there with his arms crossed and be like, “Yah. I know. Yah.”

Pronounced “ya-ah.”

Anyways, we learned their names: Dustin and Melinda. They were inseperable. It was so goofy to watch. Erin (who is Blog-Erin, I will now just call her Erin) and I stood off to the side and made up what they were saying:

Dustin: Let’s sit down (I did Dustin)
Melinda: Yeah, let’s. (Erin did Melinda) So do you like books?
Dustin: Books are for jerks.
Melinda: You’re so damn cool…

After a while, it seemed Dustin was a little bit put off by Melinda, probably because so many older kids were watching them. We went off to the playground, Erin and I, and then all the other kids followed. Dustin and Melinda hung out, Dustin usually swinging upside-down from something. He looked like Ray Ramano with a skater haircut.

Erin and I were, at one point, yelled at by fifteen-plus kids to kiss… so we did. Just a smooch. Everyone cheered, and there were a few more derogatory calls that we ignored. We left our Playplace of Solitude, which was quickly overtaken by D&M. They sat up there, alone and almost undetectable. We thought for sure they’d follow our lead and kiss, but they didn’t.

But later on in the evening, after Dustin was clobbered with bits of dirt and rock from our friend Josh (it was weird to watch, Josh went to talk to him and make him feel better about all the attention he was getting and then just started throwing stuff at him), and after Josh grabbed his arm and wouldn’t let go, and the poor kid was surrounded by a group of older people, the weirdest thing happened!

Melinda and him left the party, covered by the darkness of the evening. Naturally, Erin and I, and Erin G., and a girl named Marqui ninja-ed our way out to where they were. We crept quietly along a building. They were laying down in the grass behind a small billboard.

The building was the neighborhood pool, and on the inside of it there was a ceiling-less enclosure. The swimming pool was huge. I hopped the fence and crept around to try to see/hear the Underage Couple, but to no avail. Erin G. hung behind at the fence with me while I went.

My-Erin and Marqui went and hid behind these two pillars and listened to the Underage Couple. They could see their legs. And they were *making out.*

Whoa! Dustin had said to everyone at the party that he’d just recently gotten together with his girlfriend, and Melinda was *not* his girlfriend.

We were forced to come back to the party by the adults. I blew our cover by rushing up to the pillars with Erin and Marqui, and so we kind of just walked back and stayed.

The Underage Couple? Yeah, they… Dustin carried Melinda down the street in his arms, ignoring the calls of the adults.

What a crazy party.

-Thom

Aestheism, not Atheism.

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Comments on: "Sunshine’s Party!" (8)

  1. Ginja Ninja said:

    Hey guys, I really like your blog your both really talented and I’m gonna keep reading :)

    • Thanks! (I’m guessing this is Erin?) We hit a record-high 133 views yesterday, yo. Thanks for reading and all… (:

      -Thom

  2. sunshine:) said:

    Hey guys! Thanks for the shoutout. I’m glad you enjoyed the party, specifically the Dustin & Molinda drama. I would like to inform you that they are in fact now dating haha. I just saw them together at the pool in my neighborhood the other day. Anyways I quite enjoy this blog of yours. Keep up the good work! I miss you both terribly! Oh Thom I hope you don’t mind but I’m totally taking the Thom dance with me to Cali :)
    Geez I feel I’ve written a book. Sorry! Theres not much else to do out here on the open road stuck in a car for eight hours a day :/
    Keep in touch! I love you!! :)

  3. Hi, Sunshine! Thanks so much for reading. This is Tom, and I’m totally down with you taking the Thom dance to Cali with you. I hope the trip out there is going smoothly and all, and it’d be awesome if you could spread the word about the blog out there for us. :) Erin and I miss you, and we love you too! It was nice meeting you while you were here!

    -Thom

    P.S. They’re dating…? Whoa.

  4. sunshine said:

    sup yup lup pup rup dup hup bup gup jup kup lup mup rup tup zup cup nup

  5. sunshine:) said:

    Sorry Thom that was my irritating little sister.
    Thanks for recognizing it wasn’t me….. my rhyming skills aren’t that mediocre :)

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