A Little Perspective From Tom Church


I woke up this morning with a text; it read: “Tom! You just accidentally called the house. At four in the morning. Four. -Erin.”


I woke up really early last night, and my instinct was to check my phone for the time. I did, and didn’t even process it, and then slammed the phone down on my nightstand and fell back asleep.

Apparently I hit the green phone button twice, which went to “recent calls,” and then called the most recent number. Cripes.

I woke up this morning and saw the message and thought, “Her parents must think I’m such a punk.”

Still tired and all, my brain led me in a weird direction: what the hell is a punk? I mean, it’s what old people call young people, because we’re all just so rotten, but, really, what’s a punk?

Dictionary.com says: “dry, decayed wood that can be used as tinder.”

Now what the hell does that imply?

Are old people saying they want to light children on fire and watch them all die?

Going further, I checked the origination of the word “punk.” I was guessing it was a British thing, because everything unique-sounding is British.

It says “AMERICANISM. [wait, what?] Origin unknown. 1680-1690.”

Americanism? What?

Dictionary.com says: “[anything peculiar to the US].”

I’m guessing peculiar means “native to,” or something. So “punk” is totally American, and it was made, like, 300+ years ago.

I guess the old people are just using what was made up in their time. Maybe they think it’s retro. *shrug*



Comments on: "Punks" (3)

  1. Jamie Schaefer said:

    Oh Thomas… how i love your words and thoughts…

  2. Why thank you, Jamie. It’s nice to know I have a fan here and there.

  3. Erin Rothback said:

    You called at four. FOUR.
    My grandma was like, “Why would he be calling from Missouri?” which I think was the funniest and most confused thing said all morning.
    Your caller ID gave you away, yeah, but I covered your ass. You’re lucky they love you.

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